The Fart-Machine

0 Comments 19 April 2003 / by

isn’t that an eye catching title? hihihiii… akhir&#178 ini di kantor gue ada maenan baru. my buddy, shawn, bought this toy called “the fart machine”. iseng? iya emang. dia emang orang paling iseng sedunia. so this machine has a remote control and different sounds of fart. it looks like a baby monitor or a small speaker. biasanya shawn suka iseng naro maenan ini di meja atau di bawah kursinya seseorang, trus dia sok&#178 nyamperin mau nanya sesuatu sambil mencetin remote-nya. so usually in the middle of their conversation the “preet.. preeet.. preett” sound will stop the conversation, trus dia pura&#178 kaget and said.. “excuse you!!” sambil ngeliatin orang yang dikerjain with the “shame on you” look. hhahaha.. biasanya berhasil setelah kita&#178 pada ketawa ngakak di ruang sebelah. he even does it with our boss in between his “crazy” mode.

seru sih, cuz it creates a friendly atmosphere in the office. tapi kadang&#178 gue suka penasaran with how people fascinate themselves with fart. maybe not the smell.. heheh.. more like the sound. think about it.. there are different kinds of fart-sound and i know.. you know how yours sound. ngomongin ttg kentut biasanya suka diikuti dengan kata “maaf” karena di beberapa culture sepertinya taboo kalo ngomongin ttg kebiasaan manusia yang satu ini. padahal semua manusia pasti mengalami, bahkan ini merupakan salah satu aktivitas tubuh kita yang lumayan wajar & sehat. bayangkan aja kalo misalnya kita gak kentut&#178, pastinya kan bakal dapet banyak penyakit, dari sakit perut, constipation, and so on and so forth.

menurut ilmu biologi yang gue pelajari — walopun nilai biologi gue gak pernah bagus *i suck at biology* — we have a small chemical factory in the lower part of the digestive system. it contains millions of bacteria who digest some of the material that you have not already digested and absorbed. bacteria ini paling suka ama makanan&#178 yang mengandung tri and tetrasugars, yang biasanya ada di bawang bombay, bawang putih, kacang merah, dan jenis sayuran laennya. eating these vegetables will stimulate the intestinal bacteria which metabolize these sugars, to produce gas. this gas escape through the anus either as a whisper or as a gun explosion *lol*. hihihi.. see i can’t stop laughing while writing this. ok, let’s continue.. this is interesting…

as the gas farted, it usually contains methane. people sometime do stupid things like trying to lit the gas emerging, to produce flames coming from their backside. hehhe.. now if you’re a big fan of south park like i am, you’d probably remember when cartman was trying to lit his fart and ended up killing kenny from the burning. hueahahah.. that was a hillarious episode. now, so you know the basic on how gas is produced.

fart-fascination goes to all people in all ages. emang sih gak sampe obsessed gitu, but i know people who always tell fart jokes and just so amazed with fart that they just can’t stop farting.. oops, i mean, telling the jokes. dan emang gak ada salahnya kok *selama gak bau.. hihi..*. besides as far as i know, when the gas is out, it usually cracks a smile on people, particularly the doers. emang sih bikin seneng soalnya bebas dengan pressure dari gas yang sembelit di perut. tapi masalahnya when someone farts it usually follows by the awful smell. makanya biasanya kalo mau kentut, orang biasanya sembunyi&#178 supaya gak kecium orang laen. lagian gak sopan kalo kentut di depan orang&#178. although a friend of mine told me once that you can measure the comfort level of your relationship with someone when you are able to fart, burp, and do all that grossy stuff in front of your other half. although not entirely true and among other things, i kinda agree with that.

and here, with shawn’s fart machine, people make money out of it. it’s a toy that make people laugh, and yet no smell. since shawn brought it to work, everybody at work wanna get one so now we start calling him fart boy *lol*. my other co-worker bought one and use it to wake up his son in the morning, cuz apparently his son is so annoyed by that sound. for 10 bux a pop, it sure hell make the maker rich. ada&#178 aja deh….

and just last night, we had this conversation about fart. while ac was doing something in front of the computer, my bro was watching tv and i was on “iseng” mode ngegangguin ac

me: *to ac* “hey, did you just fart?”

ac: “no, maybe you did!”

me: “so what’s this smell… come on just admit it.. hihihi”

bro: “maybe because because your mouth is too close to your nose..”

:: sLesTa

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a worker by choice, a mother and a wife by nature / owner of slesta.com / co-founder of the urban mama / the urban muslimah | email: slesta[at]slesta[dot]com

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