The Question

0 Comments 27 September 2005 / by

i just arrived from work several minutes ago from another late day from work. after a quick dinner and a small talk with my dad, as usual, i went to the computer near the living room. chatted with an old friend who’s planning to visit indonesia soon (woohoo! can’t wait to see you again, dude!) while browsing through some websites. i then opened my inbox and tried to read some of the emails i received, mostly from the mailing lists i joined which, unfortunately, i had to hit “delete” if they’re not so important to read. then i stopped at a eye-catching email from a regular reader of my blog who’s been emailing me regularly these days. in her email, she asked the one-million dollar question that has been asked to my face since the day i had decided to go back home a year ago. it took me a couple of seconds until i hit the “reply” button…

her question:
mba, cuma penasaran aja..pasti mba slesta udah
sering di tanya kayak gini d..mba slesta koq mutusin
balik ke Indonesia sih kan udah settle di NYC sono ?

my answer:
first of all.. it’s true.. gue udah ditanya pertanyaan ini sama semua orang yang tau cerita gue. dan sampe sekarang pun sebenernya gue belom tau jawaban tepatnya tuh apa… cuz there are too many answers to this not-so-simple question 😀

second.. well, ini jawaban yang paling sering gue pake.. yaitu karena gue udah bosen dengan kehidupan gue.. tapi inget bukan dengan kotanya! gue ga akan bosen untuk hidup di NYC, tapi gue itu udah kerja 6 tahunan di perusahaan yang sama, tapi ya gitu2 aja.. karena sebagai non-resident, gue butuh ijin kerja.. jadinya gue stuck di kantor yang sama sampai segitu lamanya.. padahal gue yakin gue mampu berkembang di tempat laen. jadi gue pikir2.. buat apa gue ngorbanin waktu gue hanya demi sebuah greencard, tapi apa yang gue kerjakan itu sudah gak satisfy my ambition anymore?

third.. sebelom gue decided untuk balik, gue sempet liburan seminggu ke jakarta. gue ktemu temen2 gue.. gue liat mereka itu happy2 banget kerja di jakarta. dan gue juga happy bisa deket ama orang tua.. jadi itu juga alasan gue kenapa gue pengen pulang aja. kapan lagi gue bisa spend time and live with my parents again? dulu2 sih gue selalu menolak ide ini karena sudah 10 tahun lebih terbiasa hidup sendiri, tapi setelah kesini2.. gue malah mikir.. nanti kan gue pasti akan nikah (insya Allah) dan gue ga akan tinggal ama ortu lagi.. jadi kenapa ga puas2in dulu sekarang?

fourth.. during visit itu, gue sempet ditanya satu pertanyaan ini ama bokap gue.. sebenernya pertanyaan nya gak terlalu serius.. tapi bikin gue berpikir dan stuck di otak gue terus menerus.. penasaran apa pertanyaannya? nih dia..

“kamu sekolah jauh2.. buat apa juga kalo ga di gunakan untuk membangun negara sendiri tapi malah membantu negara laen yang sudah kaya?”

deghh.. simple, though a little naive! dan gue yakin gue pernah denger itu dari orang2 laen.. but when it comes from my dad.. it really made me think.

i signed the email then hit the “send” button.

i’m not sure if these answer her question. but i do know that i’m still perfecting the answer..

:: sLesTa

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a worker by choice, a mother and a wife by nature / owner of slesta.com / co-founder of the urban mama / the urban muslimah | email: slesta[at]slesta[dot]com

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