28 Weeks

0 Comments 24 October 2011 / by

this week, my second pregnancy is coming into 28 weeks. which means i’m about to go into my third trimester soon. it has been quite a bumpy road, this pregnancy. not so much on how the pregnancy goes, cuz just like my first one, it was quite smooth actually. i only had morning sickness for 2 weeks, no complaints on how the pregnancy goes, but emotionally and physically, it is SO much different.

first, because this is a second pregnancy, and i’m 3 years older than my previous one.

second, i have a toddler daughter who is very active and in the period of her toddler years, meaning, very moody, needs a long-mile patience everytime to deal with her on anything. even as simple as taking a shower.

third, i don’t have the luxury to be able to sleep whenever i want, wake up whenever i want during my off days.

to sum it all up, this second pregnancy really drains my energy. to be able just to function everyday is already a miracle. add a mile long patience i have to endure everytime i face my daughter, it’s even another miracle i have to perform everyday. my body is tired all the time because i don’t get enough rest as much as i want. after a long day at work, i’d go home to a needy toddler who only wants to do things WITH ME and noone else!

so yes, it’s a drag. not the pregnancy, no. but the situation that i’m in because this is a second pregnancy and i don’t have the luxury that i have during my first one when the only people i need to take care is my hubby, who is mostly taking care of me 🙂

so there are days that i ask hubby to start pitching in with taking care of my daughter. as simple as taking her to the wash room when we’re outside. or when she wants to brush her teeth at night, or changed into pajamas. not that he didn’t help before, but i made him to be the primary on it so that naia can get used to being taken care of by her dad instead of me all the time. so when the baby is born, i can focus on taking care of the baby, taking turns with hubby.

the problem is, naia is at the rebellious phase where:
1. she thinks she’s big enough to do things herself
2. she thinks she’s big enough to think for herself
3. she thinks she’s big enough to know what she wants and what’s good for her
4. she uses her logic to say no and do whatever she wants

i don’t mind with #1-3, but the thing is she would rarely listen to anyone else when this happens. so she’d either make a mess, do things completely out of this world, or just test your patience. and most of the time, no one can tell her what to do, but me. she listens to noone but mama. sometimes she just doesn’t want to listen, period. this is bad, because that means i have to talk her out of it.. and believe me, when you’re pregnant, tired, and lack of sleep, you just don’t have the patience for it.

so what i did to ease things are:
1. manage her expectations
i try to let naia knows before hand that something may needed to be done that she needs to follow. for example, when she’s watching TV, she just gets angry when someone suddenly told her to shut the TV off cuz it’s time to go to bed. she’d be screaming and howling. so what i do is i tell her that when the clock has gone to a certain number, the TV is off. and that usually follows with a quick agreement.

2. tell her in advance on something that may be changed out of her routine
in the morning, i usually make time to go and drop her off to school. but there are times that i need to leave home to be at work a bit early. naia has a custom that when she wakes up in the morning, she’d take a milk or warm tea in her straw bottle, while still cuddling in my arms. when she wakes up to find me already in the bathroom before she had her milk/tea, she’d throw tantrum. so what i’d do, i’d tell her before bed that i will leave home early, so she won’t see me when she wakes up. most of the times it works. or i wait till she finishes her milk/tea and get up. she usually has no complains then.

3. praise her for being a good girl
always praise her. it brings her confident. i usually ask her when i got home if she was being a good girl at home by finishing her meals, had a nap, follow instructions from her ‘mbak’. if she is, i’d give her something as a present. this something can be as small as a sticker to something big as a cookie. whatever it is, it helps her to be confident and know that she’ll be rewarded for being a good girl. on the other hand, if she’s not, i won’t give her anything and i’d ask what bothers her so that she doesn’t obey the rules and routines. getting her to talk and explain about it is my favorite part, cuz she’ll have her own logic to explain herself. it’s so cute! at the end, of course, i’d tell her that i don’t like it if she’s not being a good girl and ask her to be one again the next day.

4. i try not to say ‘no’ to her
at this period, naia likes to test things out, to see how far she can go before she’s being told “no” to. hubby and her nanny would right away tell her when she’s doing something that she’s not supposed to. i try to contain them and let naia do whatever (under our supervision). or if i really think that it’s too dangerous for her to try, i’d try to distract her to doing something else. it’s better than saying “NO” to her face, because she just haaates to be told that and that’d be like opening a pandora box to her mood swings.

as for baby#2 .. it’s getting bigger in the womb, the baby also moves a lot more and i can feel every move. this also another dead tiring moment because everytime i have to endure to the movements (which sometimes a kick here and there). from the beginning, baby#2 is shown very active inside the belly, now that it’s bigger, i can definitely feel it even more.

as for preparation, we’re pretty much still have not yet prepared anything. the only big item we have prepared so far is to upgrade our car to a 7 seater, cuz we need to install 2 car seats once the baby is born. here is hubby saying goodbye to our old car 2 weeks ago.

i’ll probably wait till the later part of the pregnancy to start preparing for items like clothes (though most will be from naia’s old ones), cots, etc. besides though the doc says the baby is most likely a girl, hubby has not yet closed out a chance that it could be a boy. so, fingers crossed!

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a worker by choice, a mother and a wife by nature / owner of slesta.com / co-founder of the urban mama / the urban muslimah | email: slesta[at]slesta[dot]com

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