first, we went for lunch at botak jones in the youth park off orchard area. then, while naia was asleep we walked around orchard and picked up some food, snacks & drinks for the picnic. we had come prepared with our mat, bubbles and a bike for naia for the picnic but we wanted to wait until naia has woken up from her nap and the sun has set down a bit so it won’t be too hot.

around 5ish, we arrived at the botanical garden and naia is ready to roll on her bike. we took a spot under the tree and had our snacks. we blew bubbles, run around chasing the lil girl and try to climb a tree full of ants it was a fun day!

just after the sun was almost down, we took our stuffs back to the car and off we go home. i cherish moments like this. moments where i can spend quality time with my lil family and watching the beautiful smile from my daughter and seeing her bonding and having fun with both myself and hubby.

home – singapore

one morning, naia insisted that she wants to do her own make-up. of course she was copying mama who was getting ready for work. she picks up all the tools and make-ups and apply them to her face.

1. okay, here it is… getting ready!
2. putting on the blush on my cheeks
3. let me see how i look in the mirror
4. ta-daaa… don’t i look pretty?

HILLARIOUS!!

it’s been almost more than 4 months since we took naia to the zoo. with our hectic time schedules, family visited us to singapore, hubby travels most of the time, we just failed to take some time off to take naia to the zoo. she loves going there and now that she knows most of the animals, she asks over and over about going to the zoo.

so one day, after a period of refusing to go to school .. i switched roles with naia’s babysitter. instead of me dropping her off school, her babysitter took her in the morning by bus and i picked her up from school in the afternoon, during my lunch time. so if for the past week she screams.. “naia ga mau sekolaahhh (naia doesn’t want to go to school)” .. she was actually better when her babysitter dropped her off.

unfortunately, she has more tricks than that. just as i picked her up from school and almost turning to our apartment building, she screams.. “naia gak mau pulaaanngg… mau ke zoo, mama! (naia doesn’t want to go home.. to the zoo please, mama!)” .. oh crap!

the good news is, we did want to take her to the zoo that weekend. so after i consoled her and told her that we are going to the zoo on the weekend, when papa and mama are off work. she calmed down and back to happy self.

so that weekend, we took her to the zoo. naia was happy beyond comparison. the weather was actually a bit cloudy and rainy a little, but it was nice. we get to see orang utans, flamingos, lions, jaguar, sea lions show, birds, zebras and even feeding the giraffes.

naia was a bit scared when we fed the giraffe but she couldn’t stop talking about it afterwards.

it rained a bit while we’re inside so we stopped for lunch. then we walked around the zoo again even stopped by the waterpark where they have this huuge water play. naia just couldn’t wait to take off her clothes and jump in.

we pretty much spent the whole day inside the zoo .. and naia still refused to go home. at the end, she gave in cuz she was super sleepy.

it was a fun day for her and also for us. shall do it again next month

more pictures are here

ikea, tampines – singapore

on our recent visit to ikea restaurant for lunch, the sleepy naia was playing pretend. she jumped into the trolley and we placed 2 big pillows so she can rest while we took a walk to the exit. then she placed her head to the pillow and act like she was asleep inside the trolley .. i captured the picture while she was pretending to sleep inside the trolley and it made such a funny picture.

our “most expensive” item bought in ikea!

since we had a playdate later that afternoon, we decided to just stay in the central area and drove we went to orchard area.  we stopped at wheelock place to have our lunch, where the girl in pink tutu was excitedly happy to finish her ikura sushi for lunch.  she sat on the hanging feeding chair that wasn’t supposed to support her weight anymore, but she insisted that she can still fit in.  so we let her! she chatted the whole time and behaved very well, making happy faces, smiles and cute comments the whole time.

after lunch, we took her to the book store on the ground level and hang around the children’s section where she just off and took a book and starting to flip the pages.  she sat on the floor with her pink tutu and bunny ears, flipping the books with animals picture and making comments on every page she flipped.  she then ran to the rack and picked another one, then she stayed in the center area where it’s made available for kids and parents to read.

after a couple of hours, we then persuaded her to leave the bookstore and promised her that we will visit again next week.  so off she went, after we told her to choose a bookset contains of small books and cubes filled with pictures of animals and fruits.

our next stop was jacob ballas children’s garden for a playdate and a farewell for ninit & adhit‘s family.  on the way there, the little girl in tutu couldn’t stop asking for aina & koda.  though she was already sleepy, she tried to keep her eyes open because i told her that we’re on our way to meet aina.  as her dad made a 2nd mistake of parking in the wrong area, her eyes were already heavy and she started putting her head on my lap.  just as soon as her dad finally found the correct parking spot, she was already snoring on my lap!

so off we went inside the garden with the girl in a pink tutu in my arms.  we looked for a hut inside the park and placed her on the floor covered with a mat so she can continue to sleep and i can look around and took some pictures.

less than an hour, she opened her eyes to the noises around her and quickly she asked for aina.  aina was already playing in the sand box at the time (unfortunately, koda is not allowed inside the garden).  so i took the pink tutu skirt off of the girl and let her play with her tank top and undies.  she had a sand session inside the sand box then both her and aina went to the water park and play with water to brush off the sand that’s covered her hands and feet (even some on her hair!).

done with water splashing, i changed her into dry clothes and off she went to the playground and the tree house.  as the day was getting darker, she took a carton of milk then joined us on the front gate for pizza dinner, courtesy of ninit & adhit.  the garden has been closed, all the gates has been locked, the night has come so we all took our spot in front of the entrance and had photo sessions with everyone.  it was a fun playdate and the girl was having so much fun meeting up with her friends.

we got home, brushed her teeth and changed her clothings to a set of pajamas.  she asked for another bottle of warm milk, then off she went to the lala land.  nighty nite, my little girl in a pink tutu skirt!  thank your for behaving so well and made our sunday even brighter with your smiles

the art garden: children’s season exhibition was shown in 8QSAM area.  right as we stepped in front of the area, we saw walter, the giant rabbit sitting on top of the building.  naia was excited thinking that she would be meeting a rabbit.  so when we stepped inside the building, she was excited to go inside walter’s garden.  but she couldn’t find any rabbit there, just some triangle-shaped ornaments that she can move around.  walter’s garden supposed to be a rabbit garden where the kids play as the rabbit.  unfortunately, naia thought she would see an actual rabbit so she kept asking for one.  when she couldn’t find any, she just lost interest, so we didn’t spend too much time there.

after that, we went on to the 2nd floor and inside to the moving gallery image where it’s showing different clips of short videos with different characters.  it’s fun to see and naia just didn’t want to leave at all!  after some persuasion, we finally left after about almost 15 minutes of sitting inside the small theater then off to see the floribots.  it’s basically flower robots where they show how the flowers grow.  it’s very exciting to see it and it looks absolutely beautiful.  at the end of the room, it has walls of origami for displays.  basically the origami of a flower.  the table next to it has some papers and there were instructions on how to fold the papers into the flower.  so naia tried it with her dad and took one to the display wall while she took a few home.

then, we’re off to the enchanted forest.  basically it’s a room where half of it displays a handpainting-forest.  the display is remarkably pretty and naia was excited to find different animals, tigers, rabbits, fish, frog, .. even the jumping merlion!  on the other half of the room, there’s some tables and chairs with wall display of butterflies.  kids can pick up a patterned drawing of a butterfly (big and small) and they can color them as creative as they want.  so naia took one small and one big butterfly then started to color it.  she couldn’t really color perfectly, most of the times it’s off, but she was really interested to have one of her own placed on the wall.  after she’s done, we put them on the wall with big grin on her face.. then off we went to the funky forest.

funky forest & daisies is a display of interactive forest and you can see how the your movements make streams ‘flow’ and trees ‘grow’ or even ‘die’.  it’s very interesting, even for us adults.  but apparently naia is too tired to enjoy it because she was just sitting there watching instead of jumping around with other kids ‘splashing’ the stream.

one other display that we stopped by was “STOP in here and get into the MOTION“.  i think this display is meant for bigger kids, so we didn’t stay too long.

after that naia was just too sleepy and hungry so we took off and had our lunch instead, even though naia fell asleep on the way to the lunch place.  nonetheless it was a fun day.. and naia’s first visit to the museum.  with school holiday is coming, we’re looking to see more activities for kids around the city.

the art garden: children’s season at singapore arts museum is exhibited from 14 may to 18 july 2010.  one of the cool activity to visit if you are in the area during the period.

more pictures of our visit can be found here.

super proud of we have achieved in such a short time, but we’re still young and there are tons of things we need to do. and we intend to do it seriously. it is our baby, our labor of love. despite all the hurdles when we first started, we grew strong as friends and partners and intend to grow this as it is more than just a hobby, it’s something very dear to us.

if you want to read the article, you can read the large version of it here.

 
it seems that it was only like yesterday that i sat down in front of my dad, asking for her blessing to be married to the man i chose.   fast forward 3 years later, through ups and downs, i can’t ask for a better person next to me.

okelah, gue emang bukan yang spend so much time dealing with financial instruments. finance itu kan bidang yang luaass banget. my kind of finance lebih ke analysis, gue ngebaca financial report seperti ibaratnya gue baca novel. gue meng-analyze angka2 yang ada. dan gue emang suka. tapi angka2 yang ada itu lebih ke urusan financial management dengan terms seperti productivity, efficiency, unit costing, revenue, income, etc. jadi emang rada jauh dengan urusan finance yang terjun langsung ke produk seperti reksadana, unit link, saham, obligasi dan teman2nya itu, walopun semua itu tentunya gue pelajari di sekolah waktu gue ngambil finance degree gue. yang terus terang, udah rada blur ya gue belajar apa aja.. hahah.. secara udah lama banget gituh!

not until i moved to singapore, then i started to deal with all those financial instruments. itu pun dalam area yang rada gak nyambung ama otak orang awam (jangankan orang awam, gue aja masih gak ngerti2 kok sampe sekarang!) yaitu urusan funds compliance monitoring. dimana gue meng-analisa portfolio client dan monitor apakah portfolio nya itu telah mengikuti aturan yang sudah ditetapkan oleh regulator atau klien nya. namanya juga monitoring, berarti gue mesti tau dong instrument2 itu apa aja dan gimana cara kerjanya. belom lagi gue juga in charge ngurusin report untuk klien2 asuransi dalam itung2an resiko capital mereka. untuk gue yang datang dari bidang finance yang sebelah ujung, ngerjain ini bener2 butuh waktu lama untuk ngerti. dan susahnya bukan karena produknya aja yang ribet, tapi gue udah bulukan kayaknya ngurusin financial yang satu lagi, sekalinya mesti merubah cara kerja gue di urusan funds compliance monitoring ini, jadi kayak rada kurang nyambung.

anyway… maksud dan tujuan gue nulis ini sebenernya untuk sharing apa yang gue tau ttg giving financial advises. dengan credentials gue seperti yang gue ceritain barusan, tentunya gue bukanlah expert untuk kasih advise ttg financial. tapi jangan salah, gue adalah a good manager for my household (boleh dong sekali2 bangga). after all, gue udah manage my own finances sejak gue masih SMA! and i did quite a good job sampe bisa biayain sekolah sendiri.. jadi boleh dong, gue share dikit financial tips dari gue untuk keluarga? kalo ada yang salah2 ya silahkan di protes.. karena gue juga bukan expert di bidang ini.

1. save first, then spend.
sejak gue kecil, gue dibiasain untuk nabung ama orang tua gue. jadi gue selalu kebiasaan, untuk tiap terima duit, gue tabungin dulu, baru sisanya yang gue spend. itu terus gue terapin sampe gue berkeluarga. bagaimana caranya? .. kita lanjut dulu ke point #2.

2. bikin rekening terpisah dengan tujuan masing2
dari awal gue sengaja punya beberapa tabungan. dan karena udah urusan keluarga, kita punya tabungan yang joint account. at least satu untuk tabungan, satu untuk operating expense account. jadi tiap pemasukan dari gaji suami dan gaji gue, gue udah langsung sisihkan minimal 10% nya ke rekening tabungan. dan sisa duit yang lain, gue masukkan ke rekening untuk expense. biasanya kita juga udah motong sedikit untuk jajan gue dan suami, dan itu masuk ke rekening masing2 (gak joint). di sesuaikan aja, kira2 lunch, transportation, dan jajan2 lainnya, kita butuh berapa per bulan. nah itu lah jatah jajan kita masing2. jadi gak boleh ngambil2 duit di operating expense untuk jajan pribadi. kalo kayak di kantoran, itu jadinya tar korupsi. hehhe..

3. 1 kartu kredit untuk 1 spending category
suami gue, maniak credit card. semua bank mungkin dia punya. sebenernya gue ga setuju ama ini, tapi dia berdalih karena bisa dipake untuk promo & discount dan ngumpulin mileage. akhirnya gue bolehin tapi dengan sarat.. kartu utama hanya ada 1! dimana kartu utama ini dipake untuk yang namanya belanja2 & senang (travel, shopping, dining, etc.). tapi beberapa kartu lain, sesuai dengan promo, digunakan dengan expense masing2.. selain kartu utama itu kita juga punya kartu untuk:

• kartu kredit khusus untuk bayar semua cicilan asuransi kita per bulan (semua asuransi kita charge ke credit card) dan di pool di satu kartu. jadi kita bisa tau berapa banyak spending kita untuk asuransi. dan kartu ini tentunya gak dipake untuk yang lain2
• kartu kredit yang khusus untuk grocery. jadi tau grocery spending kita sebulan berapa.
• kartu kredit untuk hal2 tak terduga
• kartu kredit untuk bayar utilities (termasuk beli bensin)

jadi walopun pake kartu kredit, kita bisa keep track spending kita berapa karena 1 kartu kredit untuk tujuan tertentu. oya semua kartu kredit ini, pembayarannya dibikin auto-debit ke rekening operating expense kita. jadi over time, gue juga bisa tau, spending kita bulan ini kecil ato gede ngeliat dari pergerakan pemotongan duit di operating expense account kita. biasanya setelah beberapa lama gue udah bisa tau lah, berapa banyak yang mesti gue taro di operating expense acct kita, dan kalo ada expense2 yang tak terduga, gue tinggal track dari situ.

buat gue yang emang keep track everything online dan through my head, this is a perfect way to do it. sayang emang, buat gue yang biasa ngeliat report, gue malah paling males bikin report untuk financial management keluarga gue. mungkin karena gue juga udah terbiasa ya.. jadi kayaknya gue udah cukup mem-visualisasikan aja, dan gue inget!! of course, gue rada kuatir, sampe kapan ingetan gue akan kuat. mesti cari jalan nih nanti untuk keep track ini.

oh another thing, mungkin ini yang rada kurang conventional ya.. krn cara pengaturan seperti ini, kita jaraaang banget menggunakan cash. biasanya cash di dompet itu gak lebih dari $100 yang biasanya baru abis setelah semingguan gitu, dan untuk bayar lunch doang ato untuk jajan gitu deh.

4. bikin tabungan untuk anak
maksudnya itu bikin tabungan yang emang khusus buat si anak.  kalo anaknya masih kecil, ya bikin pake nama ibunya dulu aja.  tapi mesti disiplin dipake emang dengan tujuan tabungan untuk si anak.  gue sendiri pengen bikin pake nama naia, tapi belom sempet2 karena selalu kontroversi nanti kalo naia udah gede, dia jadi seenak jidat ngambil duit padahal dia juga masih belajar ttg financial management. jadi tabungannya tetep pake nama gue dulu.

maksudnya sih kayak mendisiplinkan diri supaya kita selalu memasukkan duit untuk naia ke tabungan ini. yang mana nanti kalau naia udah gede.. kita bisa kasih tabungan ini untuk dia pake.  in a way, ketika si anak udah gede, dia juga bisa diajarin untuk menabung dengan punya tabungan sendiri.  tapi tentunya jangan dikasih yang udah ada isinya, kayaknya bakal langsung abis deh. 

sebenernya ini cara orang tua gue juga. dulu, orang tua gue masukin duit 10ribu tiap bulan ke tabungan buat gue. duit itu tentunya makin membukit dan jadi kepake banget karena jadi duit untuk bayar uang sekolah. wouldn’t that amazing nanti naia bisa bayar uang sekolah pake duit tabungannya sendiri? tabungan ini juga untuk nyimpen segala macem duit berupa hadiah ultah, hadiah lebaran, hadiah dari oma-opa, dll.

5. punya asuransi jiwa, at least untuk breadwinner of the house
asuransi jiwa penting untuk melindungi orang2 yang ditinggalkan ketika the money-maker of the household meninggal *knock on wood*, terkena bencana/kecelakaan yang menyebabkan dia tidak bisa kerja lagi.  maksudnya supaya income tetap maksud, walopun the moneymaker is no longer able to work. 

berhubung gue dan suami kerja, kita decide untuk bikin asuransi jiwa untuk nama masing2. dan tentunya kita ngitung, dengan expense kita sekarang.. berapa banyak yang harus gue cover to ensure nanti anak gue bisa tetep hidup dengan lifestyle yang sama 10 tahun setelah gue atau suami gak ada. kenapa 10 tahun? karena ekspektasinya setelah itu si anak sudah bisa kerja sendiri dan membiayai hidupnya sendiri. diitung2.. ya jadinya emang gede banget, tapi penting banget!! dan kita juga minta terms nya ini sampe kita umur tertentu dimana ketika umur itu kita sehat wal’afiat, kita bisa ngambil berupa cash. dan ini kita jadikan dana pensiun kita. oiya, uang peratanggungan untuk asuransi jiwa ini, kita set semua beneficiary nya jatuh ke naia. penting banget, jadi kita make sure naia is taken care of dan ga ada campur tangan orang lain (yang bisa aja malah disalah gunakan)

6. bikin dana pendidikan anak
you may wanna ask, apa bedanya tabungan anak dan dana pendidikan?  sebenernya sih mirip, tapi dana pendidikan ini lebih diperuntukkan untuk jangka panjangnya alias kuliah, yang mana akan butuh dana yang jauh lebih besar, apalagi kalo mikirnya juga dengan option kuliah di luar negeri.  biasanya untuk dana pendidikan ini juga ada yang di offer oleh asuransi atau financial service provider, dimana kita nyetor duit, tapi kita gak boleh ngambil sampai umur si anak mau masuk universitas.  tapi bukan berarti mesti naro di asuransi, bisa juga bikin tabungan sendiri yang khusus, dengan sarat, mesti disiplin untuk TIDAK AKAN mencoba2 untuk ngambil, dan cicilan selalu diangsur, no matter what.  nah yang terakhir itu yang rada susah ya, makanya gue lebih prefer pake service dari financial provider gitu. 

7. unit link sebagai investasi?
gue tau, kalo unit link ini kayak barang yang disuruh untuk dihindarkan oleh financial advisor yang namanya gue sebutin di atas. tapi apakah berarti kita gak perlu punya? maybe. jadi, trus kenapa gue punya? simple aja kok alesannya, karena gue emang pengen investasi di unit link! dan karena ini investasi dan untuk long run, ya gapapa. kalo misalnya mau investasi di unit link tapi dengan tujuan short term, ya salah banget emang!  tapi bukan berarti unit link adalah answer untuk investasi jangka panjang ya? sebagai salah satu option, boleh2 aja, but don’t pool your money in one place.

8. punya asuransi kesehatan yang memadai
pelajari asuransi kesehatan yang ada.  apa aja yang di cover.  biasanya melahirkan gitu gak di cover oleh asuransi, apalagi di kantor, tapi kadang ada yang mau cover dengan limit (misalnya hanya mau bayar the first 10juta), jadi mesti mengerti banget.  jangan sampai kalo ternyata butuh baru sadar ternyata ga ke cover. 

kalo di keluarga gue, kebetulan sih ini emang udah di cover ama kantor ya. termasuk anak gue. dan karena tinggal di spore, even pembantu gue juga punya asuransi kesehatan karena emang diwajibkan punya ama pemerintah. plus, karena kita udah PR, kita juga punya dana CPF yang emang disisihkan untuk kesehatan. jadi menurut gue saat ini more or less ke-cover. untuk critical illness juga di cover lewat life insurance.

9. invest to own a property
sekecil apapun, better to invest to own a property, daripada rent.  alhamdulillah, kita udah bisa beli property.. walopun nyicil. tapi paling gak ini udah part of investment dan udah punya kita. sebenernya karena kami berdua sudah berkarir cukup lama sebelom akhirnya menikah, kita berdua juga punya property atas nama masing2 di indonesia.. property itu kita titipkan ke orang tua, jadi kita sih nganggep nya ya itu lah dana darurat kita yang bisa kita ambil kapan aja.

10. punya dana darurat (emergency fund)
nah ini yang belom kita plan banget2 nih.. tapi pelan2 mesti mulai di build. seperti yang gue mention di #9, kita berdua punya dana dan investment yang kita kumpulkan waktu kita belom nikah. semuanya gak kita bawa waktu kita married. jadi bener2 kita start dari 0 bareng2. nah dana2 & investasi yang kita “tinggalkan” ini jadi kayak kita “lupain” sekarang ini… tapi kita berdua sepakat, investasi/dana yang ada itu kita treat sebagai dana darurat sambil kita juga mengumpulkan dana darurat sendiri.

kuncinya sih, dana darurat harusnya ada dalam bentuk liquid dan bisa diuangkan kapan saja.  namanya juga darurat.  dan ini tergantung dari berapa banyak pengeluaran household per bulan.  at the minimum, punya tabungan yang ada amount 1 bln pengeluaran sebagai dana darurat, tapi semakin besar, tentunya akan semakin baik.  kalo buat gue kuncinya sih at least punya 4-5x pengeluaran per bulan.  kenapa 4-5 kali pengeluaran?  well, itu angka yang menurut gue aman aja ya.  yang selama ini selalu gue pake sebagai patokan.

11. investasi secara variatif
seperti yang gue pelajari di kelas finance dulu, never put your money in one place.  diversify!  jadi kalo emang punya extra money untuk di invest, put it in different places.  honestly, sekarang sebenernya sih pengen ya punya investasi lain. mungkin other property yang bisa kita sewain dan jadi passive income. atau berupa saham, mutual funds, dll .. tapi yang bener2 milik bersama. tapi karena saat ini kita baru pindah dan baru beli property, in rada tersendat. paling mentok kita ngumpulin USD, tapi ya itu juga jadi lebihnya untuk dana darurat sih. eventually kalau semua udah okay dan settle, kita akan taro lebih banyak kesini. even perhaps, beli emas batangan.. yang disebut2 investasi aman karena harganya yang terus naik.

12. pikirkan dana pensiun
nah untuk ini, kita sekarang juga belom terlalu mikirin secara serius sih, walopun udah ada di daftar to-do list. ada asuransi yang cover, tapi masih minim dan basic banget. kemaren2 kita kumpulin dari dana cpf. untungnya tinggal di spore, dan udah jadi PR, ada yang namanya CPF ini. sebenernya di indonesia juga ada, tapi disini enaknya, kontribusi gak hanya dari gaji kita tapi dari perusahaan juga. jadi mayan banget! tapi karena sekarang cicilan mortgage datang dari dana cpf, ya bisa dibilang kita ga ada dana pensiun. walopun itungannya property yang kita beli itu adalah investment yang diambil dari dana pensiun kita. tapi tetep aja kurang dong, karena kalo property udah lunas, berarti duit cash kita untuk dana pensiun juga minim kan? iya kita punya property sebagai investment, tapi kalo itungan simplenya.. gak mungkin dijual dong? tar tinggal dimana? jadi ya ini pun tetep harus dipikirkan. sama ama point #11, ini juga akan dijalankan pelan2 sering waktu. dan investasi di point #11 pun bisa dijadikan part of dana pensiun ini sebenernya.

yup, sekian info & tips dari gue. paling gak, ini juga bisa gue jadiin patokan gue seterusnya.. so far, we have no particular issue ya. alhamdulillah karena kita berdua masih bekerja dan gue tetep berpendirian… sebesar apapun pengeluaran, income mesti bisa masuk dulu ke tabungan sekecil apapun.

i went to the US because i wanted to study.  my parents are not those who have abundance of money and made plans to send me abroad for study.  i believe, it never crossed their mind that they would raise two kids who ended up studying abroad.  up until i was sent to the US for study, my feet only step foot as far as singapore.  there was never a trip all over the countries during our childhood, like many my friends did.  i know nothing about disneyland or universal studios.  i only stepped foot in those places when i was about 25 years old, with my own money!  so, being able to go and study in the US was like something of a dream for me.  a dream i made come true because i worked hard for it.  i was willing to sacrifice for everything less while living abroad as long as i can get the taste of it. 

just imagine, if i were going to bandung for college, i would have good food with my parents always there to help me.  i’d be living by myself but i’d probably have someone to help out clean the place or probably cook, even doing laundry.  anyway, life would probably much better than living all by myself, have to take care the finances and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and laundry.. on top of my study!  plus i have to be thousands and thousands miles away from my parents and my comfort zone.  oh yes, at least i was living in america, you’d say.  but going to school in america, in a state in the middle of nowhere, means.. you have no life!  the malls are pretty terrible, the city is very small and the highest building in that town is probably the building stands in your campus.  sounds like america you know?

people get confused sometimes.  america that people see on the news and on the movies are not the same with the real life.  many rural towns in america (especially those made as a college town) are basically boring and empty places.  so it’s not really a pretty sight and a step up from my life in jakarta.  but i was determined that i want to finish school with my hardwork. 

it took me almost 4 years with 4 jobs, 2 universities, 2 degrees in 2 cities to finally able to graduate with a degree.  my parents couldn’t even come to the graduation ceremony!  in the last year of college, i worked 3 jobs so i can support myself through my senior year.  therefore, my parents’ money was only used towards my school tuition and i can have some left to support me while i’m looking for jobs after i graduated. 

thank God, it took me less than a month to secure a permanent position in NY, moved to an apartment and become roommates with 2 other girls.  it’s so funny to remember our sleeping arrangements.  all 3 of us in one room, with 3 single beds next to each other like we’re in a camp or something.  but i didn’t mind, we didn’t mind.  i wanted the experience and i craved for finding my own independence and identity. 

after a while i moved to my own place, went back to school for my master’s degree (which also took quite a strain on my finances, cuz i had to pay it myself with a small jump start from my parents).  it was not a vacation! 

so when i went home to jakarta after all those times, i was somewhat relieved and afraid.  relieved because now i can enjoy all the luxuries of life in jakarta (malls, maids, drivers) but afraid because i may not used to that anymore since i’ve been doing a lot of my things, myself.  it was quite an adjustment, but what it hardest the most was not adjustment back to my parents’ house, but to answer what people assumed me to be. 

as someone who has spent a number of years living and working abroad, i was assumed to be in a different level than those who’ve only worked in indonesia.  or worse, that i made more money because i was paid in dollars.  guess what?  i also spent in dollars.  i think i saved more money when i was paid in rupiah then i was in dollars.  so does that mean, working abroad is better?  not necessarily.

i spent only 2.5 years in jakarta before i finally packed my bags and moved to singapore again.  this time because i had to follow my husband who was already working in singapore.  we plan to live and make a life here in singapore.  and that decision somehow taken differently with others because it’s as if i don’t like living in indonesia… or that i was more of a value to be working abroad instead in my own country.

that is an assumption made of those who apparently don’t know shit about anything.  because for me, i was valued more if i work in my own country.  until now, i’m still adjusting my work life because of the strain of competition that’s far more futile than those in jakarta.  life is much better for my family if i live in my own country because my parents and families are there.  so why do both hubby and i punish ourselves by living in different country?  because we love the independence we’re in. 

both of us agree that one can go to work at other countries not because that one person has better requirements or smarter than those who works in their own country.  it’s a matter of choice.  if you choose that you want to pack up your things and willing to raise your family in other country, then you do it!  if you don’t, then stay. 

so assuming that us, who live abroad, have a better life, higher level of living, better salary, is totally WRONG!  i know people who has much better life than us, higher level of living and far far more better salary and still live in indonesia.  we live in singapore, because we choose to do so.  we work here as a result of that choice.  and that doesn’t make us different than anyone who live and work in indonesia. 

if people in indonesia (and haven’t been living abroad) thinks that living in other country is better living, then do you know that we also think the same for you?  living in indonesia would be a bless with all the good food and strong family support system.  so why don’t we move back to indonesia?  then, let me ask you the same.. why don’t you move to live abroad if you think that living abroad is far much better?

until you can answer that question, then i can give you mine.