so now that it means we need to look for a new maid, we decided that we should take care of the working permit application ourselves. no need to involve a maid agency in the process. from my past experience when applying for the renewal of the working permit, it seems that the process is quite fast and easy. everything in singapore is fast and easy, and everything is spelled out clearly on the websites. as long as we can find someone from indonesia who would be willing to work for us for at least the next 2 years, we’re all set.

my mom is the one who helped finding this new maid. she worked in kuwait before, for 5 years, taking care of her employer’s children. so it’d be perfect. the only different is that, she is much older than my current one. fortunately, still within the legal limit to work in singapore. i figured, i want someone older this time because i need someone who’s serious about working here and hopefully will stay with us long enough.

after identifying that she is ready to come and work for us in singapore, we helped her to make her new passport. she has her old passport before but because it was done through PJTKI (somehow marked and can be used as a “target” when she enters or leaves indonesian immigration), we decided to make a new one for her. in the meantime, i asked her to prepare the translation of her secondary school diploma, birth certificate and a letter from her husband stating that he gives permission for her to work.

i’ve had too many experiences with my current maid that everytime she enters indonesia, she got stopped and told to go through a different lane specifically for TKW (indonesian non-skilled worker sent abroad). upon going into this lane, they become the target for some unauthorized people who would try to ask for money. of course, i wound interrupted and dismissed this. though there are plenty of stories we heard about this. and i couldn’t quite understand why indonesian immigration would stop my maid when entering her own country. it’s like she cannot work outside of indonesia, when in fact she was making good money for her and her family. she has the permit to work in singapore and legal to stay. for this purpose, and since our maid is not going through any employment agency, we want her passport to be unmarked and treated like the general tourist.

so, once the passport is ready, i apply for an IPA (In-Principle Approval) letter which she will need to bring once she enters the country. along with IPA, i also apply the medical insurance and security bond, which is mandatory by the MOM (ministry of manpower) before she enters the country. all is done through MOM’s website.

for a first-time maid (FDW – foreign domestic worker) to be eligible to work in singapore, she must:
1. be a minimum of 23 years old, max of 50 years old.
2. has completed a min of 8 years of education (secondary school or junior high school)
3. medically fit to work
4. enrolled in a Settling In Programme (SIP) which is a replacement of the entry english test.

the english test was a mandatory for all FDW who come to singapore to work. they must pass the test after 3 tries in 3 days. if she does not pass the test, she will have to leave singapore and try again. as of May 1, 2012 this test was omitted and replaced with SIP, an all day program where the FDWs are required to attend the workshop about working and living in singapore. the SIP is currently organized by 2 vendors (both names can be found in MOM’s website) and the fee is $75.

for a first time employer of FDW, s/he has to go through an employer orientation. this can be done online and only takes about 3 hours. you can also attend the class if you want. i did it online during my first maternity leave, so i don’t have to go through it again this time. oh, btw, this whole application thing must be done using your singpass. so, better apply for it once you receive your pass (dependent pass, employment pass, or PR)

an employer is allowed to apply for a FDW in her household if she has child(ren) below 12 years old or parents who needed help (sick).

once everything is in place, i applied the working permit online for the IPA. i applied at 9.30AM and got the approval by 3.30PM, the same day! after the approval came, i contacted NTUC and requested for a Foreign Maid Package. this package is bundled specifically for FDW employer to buy. it has all the requirements that MOM requested, health insurance and $5000 security bond. for 2 years period, the cost is about $256.

since everything is done online, they only requested for the transmission number appears in the IPA, so that they can linked and apply for the health insurance for the said FDW. all these documents must be brought by the FDW when she enters the country. the immigration will then scan the docs to ensure all the necessary items have been applied and in place.

hubby took an overnight trip to jakarta to pick up my new maid. since he needs to bring all the documents, we wanted to make sure that everything is safe and proper when she enters the country. of course, our main concern was not on the singapore immigration, it was in fact in indonesian immigration that we were worried. from the KTKLN requirements, to a marked passport. good thing, it was done smoothly, though she was asked and given weird comments from the indonesian immigration.

so on her way out leaving indonesia, the indonesian immigration officer asked my maid on her intention to travel. she answered that she’s going on a trip to singapore with her cousin (pointed to my husband). the immigration officer then asked, “for how long?”. she picked up a number from a sky and answered, “10 days”. the officer replied, “make sure you don’t work there!”

excuse me? who says she cannot work? even if she does want to work, it’s not up to him to deny it. it’s up to the government and immigration in the destination country who can say that she is allowed or not allowed to work. weird, isn’t it?

anyway, she entered singapore smoothly since all docs are on hand.

early on monday morning, the next day after she arrived to singapore, my hubby took my maid to attend the SIP. during the registration, they checked the documents such as the school diploma, passport and birth certificate of the FDW. as mentioned, it’s a whole day program, so she was there pretty much from 9am to 6pm. hubby picked her up at 6pm and she was given a certificate to proof that she has completed it.

since it was too late to go for medical check up, the next day we took her to see a doctor at the local clinic nearby our apartment. we brought the medical check-up form that we printed off of the MOM website so that the doctor knows what kind of things needed to be checked. this includes a blood test and an x-ray test (cost about $72 in total, i went to a local clinic). it took less than 2 days for the result to come up. once the result is received, we would know that based on the tests, the doctor would give his OK to confirm that the FDW is fit or unfit to work. once the result shows as fit to work, i applied for the issuance of the working permit online. for this we will need to pay $20 for processing of the card. the approval came in an instant, where we would be given an instruction on what to bring for the card issuance. this includes the medical check up form (signed by the doctor), birth certificates of the employer’s children, passport, photo, etc.

this is done through the work permit office at the tanjong pagar complex. my hubby and my maid went there for the submitting all the docs requested (most of them needed the signature, therefore we need to submit the hardcopies), fingerprint and photo image. once this is done, then she’s all set.

4 days after, we just need to go back to pick up the working permit, which took less than 5 minutes to do. the whole process is completed in less than 2 weeks after her arrival to singapore.

when my first maid arrived here, i didn’t think that it was this easy to go through the whole process ourselves. so we engaged with a maid agency. we spent about $1K for the whole thing. going through the process ourselves only costs us less than $200. yes, it also costs us time, but not too much time as everything is done very fast and simple.

i guess it’s worth taking our leave than paying that much money to a maid agency. so if you are new in singapore or going to move to singapore with your maid, just follow the above steps. log on to MOM website and apply for your singpass. that’s all you need to have and you’re all set!

img credit: http://news.xin.msn.com

on my appearance:
everyone keeps saying that i look different. well, of course i look different. last time they saw me i was huge with my big belly. now i lost the big belly, i can wear my heels and more stylish clothes than the maternity ones *LOL*

on office hours:
got on my high gear and chased people to sit down with me and give me updates. i only have shorter time in office now, since i have to leave before 6PM to pick up naia from the daycare, so i need to really maximize my time at the office. not to mention the 2 sessions i need to spend in the nursing room to pump.

my first session i take just before my lunch, so i combine it with my lunch hours. thanks to the double pump on my medele freestyle, i can cut my pumping time shorter. in less than 15 minutes, i’m usually done filling up both bottles. compared to my first breastpump experience, this is wayy much better. i used to take 30-45 minutes each session, just to fill up a bottle.

since 15 minutes is taken for pumping, i only have 45 minutes to have my lunch. i opt for something nearby so i can save time. great thing my office stands next to a mall, so i can grab my lunch pretty fast. my second session is about an hour before i leave from work, about 3-4 hours after my first pump.

office work is still a bit slow since my back up is still doing her work while i’m settling in. so even though i was rushing here and there, i can still breathe in between. i only saw my boss once, as he’s getting really busy with his dual role. he only has 1 month left before he’s officially off to his new role. *sobs*

on running:

i’m changing my running hours to mornings. so i run in the morning before work. so far i have run 3 times and i managed to run around the reservoir. i’m still adjusting to the new timing and my body is also trying to adjust to it as well. morning runs are much healthier, but i still need time to adjust to it. i find myself a bit sleepy during the run and since my cold is not fully recovered yet, i woke up with nasty phlegms occupying my throat. this also impacts my runs, as i can’t breathe properly, hence my pace becomes slower than usual.

but that’s okay, right now, i’m more focused on getting my body used to the morning run, possibly making it as my regular morning activity before work. i find that it makes me energized at work and i won’t be stressfull with the morning rush of preparing myself and managing naia’s tantrum in the morning. yes i have the 10K race in two weeks that i need to prepare for, but this time, my goal is to end the race in less than 80 minutes. that’s enough for now. i don’t want to put too much pressure on my body as i know it’s needing a lot of adjustments right now.

on kids & family:
obviously, they are impacted the most on my going back to work. naia stays longer at the daycare while neishia needs to get used to drinking the milk from the bottle.

in the morning, i had to manage naia from throwing her tantrums, so she can shower and has her breakfast on time while i’m getting ready. neishia, on the other hand, becomes a second priority, poor thing. either she’s held by my maid or my husband while i took a shower, or i let her lay down while i’m getting ready. so grateful that she’s such an easy baby that would let me do all this without giving me more hassles. she started to pick up a habit of sucking her thumb to ease herself to sleep too. such an independent baby! *proudmama*

i pick up naia around 6PM from the daycare. only on first day she already complained why i picked her up so late now. made my wanna cry to hear it but i know she needs to get used to it. if i can leave early from work, i would pick her up earlier, but that only means i will continue work from home again. the first 2 days, i tried it. it’s fine but this also means more hassle because as soon as i get home, neishia is literally attached to me and just keeps sucking for milk directly. naia throws tantrums because she doesn’t want to be handled by my maid or hubby and only wants me to help her with everything *sigh*. so i had to stop working and cater to the kids’ needs until they’re all asleep so i can go back to doing my work. only by that time, i’m already too exhausted to even open my computer.

motherhood, whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, we all have our challenges. every mother has their own strengths to keep the family together, despite of being a headless chicken and runs around all over the place to keep things together.

read a really nice piece on mothers in this article here. i love that the writer points out that a good mother is not perfect. nor she expects perfection from her children, either.

“the best parents give their children the room they need to be messy, mistake-making children. and they allow themselves, perhaps with some humor, to be messy, mistake-making mothers who love life and their chilren with an open heart.”

happy early mother’s day to all of great mothers out there!

i want to tell the story how it all began. it started when this dear friend of mine, jomima, called me to have lunch together early last year, while she was in her free time in between jobs. she said she had some thing to discuss with me. jomima is my dear friend that i’ve known since i was still in NYC. we knew through blog, of course. i was in NYC while she was studying in paris. we became good friends when we met each other in person in jakarta. in fact, we became co-workers. she was the one who gave me a way to my first banking job in jakarta.

anyway, during that lunch, she threw an idea about having a blog or even a community site that discusses about healthy lifestyle. the idea is that, we as a human being should love our body and should take care of our body. if you are single and looking for mister or miss right, then you want to look good. you do your diets, where most girls would starve themselves so that they look skinny. we want to change that. why not love your curve, love your body, do sports, eat healthy, so that you would have the healthy body, a healthy lifestyle? mister right would come along eventually and love you for who you are.

or when you are married but no kids. many thinks that “well, now that i’m married.. i don’t need to look good as long as my spouse takes me for who i am“. true.. but you should look good for your own sake. not for others. or when you already become a mom, you are so busy taking care of the kids and house, on top of everything, you forget to take care of your body. it does not have to be like that!

i thought the message was really good. very strong! when i was living in NYC, i can see many beautiful people who are content about their life and their body. they are aware of living healthy, spend time to go to the gym or do sports. i do think that it’s a great campaign to teach women (or even men) that it only takes half an hour a day to do something healthy. be aware of your intake, take care of your body, as it is God’s greatest gift. love your body by living healthy. even here in singapore, i can see that many people are tuned in to sports. everyday i would see people running regularly.

so, after that discussion, i discussed the idea to my partners, ninit, thalia and udhien. they love the idea. thalia also just picked up running as her new hobby, and was training for a 10K race. i introduced jomima to the team, and we discussed about the model, how the website would look like, what would the discussion would be, the message, the website’s name, the tagline, and so on and so forth. until.. it went to a halt because jomima started her new job and becomes extremely busy. since we didn’t really have a target launch date, we thought, okay.. we’ll let her settle down. but she never did (yet). so we looked for alternatives (of course, with jomima’s permission), but didn’t work either. so we kept it under the pipeline project.. hoping that someday we would make it a reality.

so when ninit finally picked up running recently, we decided, hey.. why don’t we incorporate that old idea of having a health & fit discussion as part of the urban mama? it’s not the same like what jomima and we discussed, but it’s a start. the original idea was to spread the healthy campaign to everyone, men and women, single or married. through the urban mama, we’d start from the most important person in the family… a mom! that’s when we created a sub-forum within the urban mama’s forum which we call the urban fit. we want to create a community of parents, a support group, who are concern about living healthy as part of their lifestyle.

it’s a start of many things that will happen.. and we are excited!

and of course, it comes at the right time, as i’m also back to start my post-natal workout. this helps me to want to be fit and healthy and back in shape post-pregnancy as soon as i can. i picked up running again because i know the only way to lose the baby fat is through cardio workout. once i’m back to the weight i targeted, i will then combine with pilates or yoga or even TRX training to tone up my body.

it’s been 2 months since i started my post-natal workout regimen. started with a low impact exercise of running and swimming for a month after delivery, then gradually picked up running. from a short run, to long run while building my endurance and strength back. so far, i’m able to keep my pace at 7’30” to 8′ per km of running, with 8K as my longest run since i started. every other day, i’d run about 4-5K, combined with swimming or pilates in between.

i haven’t checked whether i have lost my weight yet or whether i’m back to my targeted weight (i doubt it haha), but at least i can wear my old clothes when i’m back to the office next week.

again, it’s not about losing weight that matters. it’s about feeling healthy and energized from all the sports and healthy habit i picked up. let’s live healthy .. for yourself first, and for your family overall!

you are most welcome to follow the twitter @theurbanfit or in the forum area. last night, i was looking at the pictures from my #365fashionshuffle project, to see how my body has transformed so far… and i was surprised that it has transformed quite tremendously.. here it is!

the left one is exactly 1 year ago, before i was pregnant with my second child. i was toned and in my comfortable weight as i’ve been training with personal trainer for 3 months.

the middle one is about 1-2 weeks after i gave birth to neishia. obviously still have my baby belly and at my heaviest.

the right one is at the present time, 3.5 months after i gave birth to neishia. taken only 3 days ago when i went to my ex-colleague’s wedding. still not back to my original weight, but almost.. i hope! thanks to running.. yay!

so whenever naia threw tantrums, i started implementing a time out method for her. it’s when i took her to the corner of the room where she is being timed out and was not allowed to leave until she has calmed down. does it work? of course not! most of the time, she was clueless of what’s going on. when i left her in the corner, she would follow me. but i tried to be consistent, as they say, parenting is about being consistent to what you tell to your kids. it did. overtime she did know that whenever she is being timed out means she is being put aside to calm down after throwing tantrums or did something that we’re not approved of.

to do this, i followed the rules of time-out method. first, the length is the same nominal as their age, only in minutes. so, for a 1 year old, the length of time out is only 1 minute. 2 minutes for a 2 year old, and so on. during this time out, don’t let your kid stays by herself, if they are below 3 years old. instead, talk to her, calm her down. in a loving and calm tone, tell her why she is being time out. make her understand what she did wrong that resulted her in the time out corner. make her understand that every action she does has consequences. after that, hug her and tell her to be a good girl.

does it work on naia? yes… for a while. after getting so many time outs, i found that it just doesn’t work on her anymore. so i kinda lay low for awhile. only things that considered to be over the limit, when she is being rebellious and cried for nothing and just no other things work, then i lay down the time out method. otherwise, i tried to swallow my anger and talk to her in a calm and loving manner for her to understand that i didn’t like what she did. there were times that i took the time out myself, to keep myself calm so i won’t throw tantrums back at her. so it works both ways.

after a while, it becomes the last resort of punishment for her. and yes, for naia, it becomes a punishment and she refused to be in the corner. instead of calming down, she became more rebellious. so i figured, this time-out method may not necessarily effective anymore.

as she grows older, she develops better understanding about how we treat her, how to answer us and how to lie. yes, kids her age know how to lie already. of course, as parents, we have to be smarter than them. and that’s the trick of parenting, we have to find a way to make our kids listen to us. and believe you me, it’s not easy when they are at naia’s age. when they think they are big enough, when their logic works yet their understanding about the world is still lacking. so when things aren’t go their way or how they think it should be, they explode!

after neishia was born, naia fell in love with her baby sister immediately. but at her age, she doesn’t know how to control her touch with a baby. so there are times that she’d over pull neishia’s arm or her pat to neishia’s head becomes like a slap. or when she thinks she can carry neishia like a doll, all by herself. so extra measures have to be taken whenever naia is around neishia, but we still need to keep a straight face that we don’t consider naia as a little rascal who would ruin the party. after a while, naia got bored because she still cannot play with neishia. so naia started to show as if she was jealous, and asking for more attention, all the time.

between hubby and i, we tried to take turns. ensuring that one parent gives full time attention to one child that s/he is responsible for at that moment. this way, we can reduce naia’s jealousy and can keep her comfortable of getting the attention she wants. but of course, it’s easier said than done, especially when her unknown emotion comes into the equation. this doesn’t result that she wants to hurt neishia or anything, but she becomes extremely difficult to deal with. when told to do something, she pretends as if she doesn’t hear it. and when we forbid her to do something, she does it anyway, just to make us mad.

so there are times that i gave in to this behavior that resulted me throwing tantrums to naia. screamed on top of my lungs to what she did, while she cried as if i don’t love her. it’s a mess! i didn’t like it, naia definitely hates it. so, i figured, maybe this time out method may work afterall, only with a bit of modification.

first, when naia is having one of those tantrums or being rebellious, i took the time out to calm myself down. or i hug her or laugh with her to break the ice. if that doesn’t work, i took her to the guest bedroom (empty room), sat her down and told her that she’s not being punished but i want her to calm down so i can talk to her. of course, she refused, thinking that she is being timed out and being punished (btw, naia hates to be called a bad girl. she always wants to be a good girl whether she’s being one or not!). once she is calmed, i’d talk to her and hug her and kiss her. if she did something bad, i’d ask her to apologize first. usually, this will work, tho it takes time. and as her mom, i know how she reacts to things, so i offer different things that she cannot say no to, like saying “i’ll read you a story, okay?” but of course before that, i told her what i didn’t like from her behavior earlier and i want her not to repeat it again (of course, she would the next day and the cycle continues.. but at least she calms down for now).

parenting is tricky. it’s easy when you read it in the book. but it’s soo hard when being implemented cuz every kid is different. as parents, we know our kids better than anyone, so remember the parenting theories as your guide, but use your instinct as a mom. your instinct usually always right!

in less than two weeks, i would be returning back to the office. i’ve been antsy since last month about this fact, after i jot down the dates and submitted my leave, and got the date from HR when i have to report back. i’m worried that my life would be a constant rush. rushing from home to work, dropping naia on the way to the office. rushing at work, making sure everything is done at the soonest possible so i can go home on time, to pick up naia. while neishia will be left alone with my maid at home. i just can’t imagine how it will be like, especially that my time would be attached to naia’s. i need to also take care of her because it’s almost impossible that i would leave the two girls attended only by 1 maid. my hubby, on the other hand, cannot help as much on this arrangement as his working hours are not as flexible as mine.

on the other hand, i’m also going to change boss as soon as i’m back at the office. my dear boss has called us in with an announcement last month that he’s moving on to a different part within the company. that means, i would have to report to someone else. you see, my current boss is actually the one who hired me into the bank when i was in indonesia. he is someone i trust and respect dearly. i only worked for him less than 2 years, when i moved to singapore. a year later, he moved to singapore too. everyone wondered why i didn’t work for him right after he transfered, since he’s in the same city as i was. it took about 2 years, until finally, i joined his team again and work for him directly, exactly one year ago.

he’s one of the nicest boss i know, one great boss. so working for him really makes my life easier. he demands a lot, and motivates me in every way. he wants things done as soon as possible and he always wants me to be on top of my game. sounds like a very demanding boss, isn’t he? well, he is. but he always manages to do it in a positive way, not in a bossy kind of way. as much as he wants things to get done fast, soon and his way.. he’s not into the process, he only concerns on the delivery. so, as long as i deliver, he doesn’t care how i get it. whether i work from home, come to work late, go home early, leave late, he leaves it up to me. cuz he trusts me enough that i know what i’m doing to ensure i deliver what i’m being asked for. that’s why it’s easier on me.

during my pregnancy, there are many times that i ended up working from home because of my condition (not feeling well, too lazy to take the train or drive, etc.). he didn’t care. if he needs me, he calls me on my mobile phone. if i don’t deliver, then he’d badger me. which i think is fair.

so knowing that he won’t be there anymore, kinda makes me nervous, especially with the current arrangement that i’m having now with two kids. i’m just crossing my fingers that i will manage. i know i will, we women are born with multitasking, aren’t we?

another thing that makes me nervous the most is whether i can keep my training program. for the past month, i have been keeping a training program on running. i have signed up on two 10K races, one in end of may and one in july. as part of my post-natal workout, i want to shape my habit to run at least 3 times a week. so training for a race would be a great idea. unfortunately, once i’m back at the office, i’m not too sure if i can keep that. i will try. we’ll see.

in the meantime, i have been running every other day. early this week, after my long run, i found that my left knee is hurt more than usual, that i couldn’t walk straight for one whole morning. so i decided to rest for a couple of days. this morning, i pushed for a 5K run. i managed fine, but i’m afraid i still have to be careful until the knee is properly healed.

for the next 2 weeks, i would only care about keeping my pace, keeping my workout intact, before all the chaos at work comes gushing back at me … oh dear lord! can i have a longer maternity leave? *.. and i hear a boo sound.. *

during one of gank duren’s latest monthly gathering at yosi’s apartment, naia and aidan (whom she called “abang aidan”) were giggling and playing in the corner. without them knowing, i shot some pictures of them together with my iphone. they were soo cute together. naia and aidan are friends since naia was still very young and just learning how to walk. she always refers to him as “abang aidan” and always fond of aidan. on the other hand, aidan is such a good boy, he would patiently wait and play with naia.

gank duren is actually a group of 4 families (ours, yosi’s, mbak shinta & mas wisnu’s, thalia & ari’s). we regularly hangout almost every month just for the sake of hanging out. it started from one event leads to another. from birthday celebration, barbequing, to just hangout for no reason, catching up with everyone’s life. we get to talk about different things, more than often, actually nothing. the name originally came because we always mention that it’d be nice to have some durian while we hang out, but it never happens. when it does happen, it was never a complete group, so it becomes our main topic everytime we see each other.

the juniors are left to play with each other everytime we gather, regardless of their differences in age. naia and aina (thalia & ari’s) are about the same age and they play with aidan who’s only 3-4 years older, while namira and alif (of yosi’s) are way older as they are already in secondary school. nonetheless, they can still hangout and play together, laughing and giggling everytime we hang out.

looking at the pictures above, i can’t help but wonder what would they think when they see this picture, 10 or 20 years from now. i just hope they – all of the gank duren’s juniors – would grow up as friends, best friends and get along together, just like we are, the parents. they are definitely our family in singapore.

i love how this picture came out. ario took this candid snapshot of naia and me, while we were visiting the observation deck of the macau tower, about 233m above the ground. the tower had plenty of actions around, like people doing the skywalk even bungee jumping. while waiting for the others enjoying their view of macau 360, i took a seat. naia came by and sat next to me and together we both were watching the people who were skywalking on the rims of the tower.

i asked her if she would be brave enough to do the skywalk or bungee jump one day. she then asked a series of questions, “why would people pay to jump off the tower, mama? why would people want to jump, mama? why? will they die, mama?” yep, she is at the stage that wouldn’t shut up until her questions are answered and she ASKED a lot of them, a series of whys. as parents, we have to answer all the questions as truthful as we can. it took me awhile to answer the above questions, even if i did answer them truthfully, she still couldn’t understand why. oh parenthood..

time surely flies. it feels only yesterday that i gave birth to neishia, *blink* there she is .. 3 months old today! it’s a blessing that i can take 4 months maternity leave, so i’m still at home to celebrate her 3 months and i still have another few more weeks until i go back to work.

let’s back track to see what neishia had accomplished for the past 3 months.

neishia is such an easy baby. we thought naia was an easy baby already and i was afraid that it may mean that my second child would be less easy than naia. turns out, neishia is even an easier baby. she sleeps most of the time and she hardly cries unless she’s sleepy or wanted her nappy to be changed. or when she got roughed by her sister (yes, we still need to watch out for naia’s behaviour around neishia. naia is absolutely in love with her baby sister but still thinks that neishia is a live doll, so sometimes she’d be lovey dovey at one minute then roughing her at the next, for no apparent reason, without knowing that it would harm neishia)

my breastmilk had been producing while i was still pregnant with neishia, so she got the colostrum from the beginning, as soon as she was born. this is great because i can focus to teach her how to suck properly, reducing the risk of having sore nipples.

from the beginning, neishia is able to put herself to sleep. i only need to feed her until she is full then lay her down in her cot. she would then fall asleep by herself, no rocking necessary. this still happens until now. of course, during fussy days, she’d like to be carried and rocked, but this usually happens during the day and not for a very long time. to reduce this, i usually put her in her rocking chair until she’s asleep by herself.

neishia recognizes day and night early on. in the first month, she was sleeping pretty much throughout the day and night, except during feeding sessions. by the second month, she spends more time awake during the day but continues to sleep throughout the night, only awake to be fed. and when she’s awake at night, she didn’t cry at all. these days, i’d wake up to the sound of her sucking at her fingers, which means she’s asking to be fed. as soon as she’s full, she falls back to sleep again. she only wakes up not more than 3 times at night, sometimes even only once.

neishia was born at 3kg. she gained 1.6kg on her first month, and two weeks ago, at 2-and-a-half months, she weighed 5.5kg. i believe she should be close to 6kg by now. she had her second vaccination when she was 1.5 months, a 6-in-1 jab at the doctor’s office. her first vaccines were done in the hospital, after she was born.

neishia is alert and playful these days. she responds when someone calls her name and tries to look for where the sound comes from. she smiles when hubby or i call her name, and loves to “talk” by making coo-ing sounds to us. she loves to be talked to and listens to the sounds of our voice while talking or singing or whistling to her. this is the time when her brain is being stimulated, so talking to her is a daily activity.

she is now can move her hands and fingers. she likes to touch things, grabbed and play her fingers on a toy, our fingers, or anything her little fingers can touch. since 2 months old, she is already entering an oral phase, where she tried to put her fingers in her mouth. these days, if she’s hungry or wanting to sleep, she’d put her fingers in her mouth, trying to suck them, but not thumb-sucking. i refused to give her pacifier.

at 3 months old, neishia has been to 3 other countries. the first one was when she was 1.5 months, visiting indonesia for a week, for her aqiqahan. the second one was a month after that, at 2.5 months, for a week trip to hong kong and a one day trip by ferry to macau. again, she made no fuss during take-off or landing, and would just sleep during most of the trip. she had her documents (birth certificate, passport and PR application) done only a couple of weeks after she was born. officially, she became a singaporean PR, 3 days ago!

neishia was already out and about beginning when she was 3 days old. i put her in maxi-cosi car seat and she’d look around or falls asleep while in the car or stroller. absolutely no fuss! when stroller is not an option, i carry her in sleepy wrap where she falls asleep right away comfortably.

i have started her to take expressed milk since 2 weeks ago, a preparation for when i go back to work next month. so far, she would take them, without any resistance. and she would go back to direct latching without any hesitation either.

last week, we took neishia to take her first haircut where her hair were all shaved. she is now a bald baby. bald but (still) pretty!

in the meantime, as for me, taking care of neishia has been such a breeze. i manage to do a lot of things at home, still working from home (not for my main job, mostly for the urban mama). i do check my work emails from time to time from home, but trying not to engage on work too much. therefore, i have more time for myself, trying to get back in shape by spending time to work out every other day through running, swimming, or walking. my main goal is not merely to lose weight (tho it’d be nice if i can, God knows i still have plenty baby fat to shed). my short term goal is to ensure i can fit in to my working clothes by the time i go back to work, so i don’t need to buy new ones.

happy 3 months, my baby girl! thanks for being such a good girl.. we love you!

after we came back from the trip, i decided that it’s time to give her a good clean shave to get rid of her hair she was born with. she came out with a good full head of hair, more than naia’s when she was born. that’s why i felt that maybe i didn’t need to shave it. but after a while i figured that some of her hair had fallen off, so why not just shave it so it would grow nicer.

so last week, 2 days after we came back from the trip, we took neishia to baby spa in changi city point. naia also had her hair shaved there, but at the harbourfront center branch. i just realized that they opened a new branch in this new mall, which happens to be nearby our apartment and it’s still new and bigger than the one in harbourfront center. actually, baby spa also provides a home service for baby’s first haircut, but neishia is obviously big enough to visit the mall, so no need for a home visit. besides, i also want neishia to take some of the spa treatments.

we took 3 packages: haircut (shaved), massage and swimming for a total of SGD 79. different from naia, neishia was so nice and calm throughout the whole ordeal. she didn’t even cry one bit! didn’t even make a peep. first, i fed her in the backroom. it was time for her feeding session, so i made sure i fed her first before she had her spa treatment. the shaving was done fast, not more than 10 minutes. i held her in my arms while the assistant shaved her hair. we asked the assistant to collect neishia’s hair so we can exchange it with gold as heavy as her hair later.

then, we took her to the massage area. i took off her clothes and diaper. the baby masseuse then massaged neishia slowly. starting with some gentle exercise movements. neishia was smiling and giggling the whole time, she was soo cute with her bald head. after the massage was done, the masseuse let her rest a bit, while she was preparing the water for neishia to swim in. once everything is prepared, ensuring that the water is warm enough for neishia and her swimming diaper and neck ring are on, she was then put inside the baby pool. neishia was kicking and smiling right away.

naia was there next to her baby sister the whole time, watching and trying to assist me. neishia really loves to be in the pool, she can’t stop kicking her legs and moving her arms, as if she were really swimming. naia was soo happy to see her baby sister and started playing with neishia from outside the baby pool. she placed the rubber ducks around neishia, even on her head. neishia was swimming for a full 20 minutes.

when she was picked up to the clothing area, i realized that i didn’t bring an extra nappy for her. oh stupid me! i was focused on preparing neishia’s clothes and naia’s bottle water when i prepared the diaper bag, i completely forgot to insert a few nappies there. sometimes i take it for granted that our apartment is nearby that it’s fine not to carry her nappy *doh* .. thank God the baby spa’s assistant saved some samples from goo.n diaper, so she gave one for neishia to wear.

she seems so happy with the whole spa treatment, smiling, giggling after it was done. we put her on her stroller while we walk around in the mall, and she just fell asleep by herself.

oh so sweet, neishia! and here she is a week later..

i will cherish this picture when she grows up to be an adult, to remember how small and fragile she was